Life Is Peachy
by Pesky Rabbit
Summary: An Avatar the Last Airbender parody: Sokka's just wants to be an ordinary guy, but that's not going to happen when his magic sister finds some weird bald kid and a majestic flying bison in a gigantic, low fat snow cone and an angsty firebender chases them all over the world.
1. Chapter 1: Episode 101 Part 1

**Chapter One: The Boy In The Giant Snow Cone **

**Part One**

**A/N: It is with great honor that I present to you–**

**Zuko: (runs in the room, screaming) honooooooor!**

*** flicks Zuko away * As I was saying, it is with great **_**onor – hay **_**that I present to you. . .the Avatar the Last Airbender Parody.**

**I'm pretty sure this really does nothing, but I do not own Avatar the last Airbender.**

**Am I automatically safe from a lawsuit now?**

_Water. . .earth. . .fire. . .air. . ._

_My grandmother used to tell me stories about the old days, a time of peace between the Water Tribes, the Earth Kingdom, the Jerk Nation, and the Air Nomads, but the Fire Nation decided to act like a bunch of _jerks _and attacked._

_Only the Avatar mastered all for elements. Only he could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he ran away like the stinking coward he is._

_A hundred years have passed and the Fire Nation is nearing victory in the war. Two years ago, my father and the men of our tribe journeyed to the Earth Kingdom to help fight against the Fire Nation, leaving me and my immature brother to look after our tribe. But mostly me, because _Sokka _is too lazy._

_Some people believe that the Avatar was never reborn into the Air Nomads and the cycle is broken. I think they're all wusses and should suck it up, but I haven't lost hope. I still believe that somehow, the Avatar will return. . ._

_. . .so I can kick his butt._

* * *

The frigid waters of the South Pole were nearly deserted except for two siblings clad in blue parkas. The eldest of the two, Sokka, leaned over the water raising his spear. "It's not getting away from me this time."

"Just like the last ten?" Katara asked, folding her arms and leaning against the back of the canoe.

"Yes, just like the last–just watch! I'll show you how to catch a fish and get our tribe dinner."

"If fate of the tribe rested on _your _fishing skills, we would have all died years ago."

Sokka scowled and turned to the water, spotting his quarry. He raised the spear, preparing to stab the fish in the most violent and barbaric manner he could think of. At that same moment, Katara saw a fish darting under the boat.

Tentatively, she took off her glove and raised her hand, preparing to waterbend.

A blob of water floated out of the ocean, a fish inside. The fish continued to swim around, as if nothing happened, thinking _I've always wanted to be in a fish bowl. . ._

"Sokka!" Katara yelled in excitement. "Look! I caught one!"

"Shut up, woman, and let me fish!" Sokka yelled

Katara frowned. She bent the blob of water at Sokka's head, in a rather violent manner. Sokka found himself with very wet hair and a damp parka, slapped by a fish. The fish got away, and two seconds later it was snapped up by a leopard seal.

"Katara! Did you just slap me with a fish again?"

"Maybe." Katara stuck her tongue out at her brother.

Sokka sighed "How come every time you play with magic water, I get soaked?"

"Magic water? _Magic water_? Sokka, show some respect for your culture!"

Sokka rolled his eyes. "I didn't realize that 'my culture' involved freaky magic."

"I can't believe you're so bone–headed!"

"I can't believe Gran Gran still doesn't believe you've sold your soul to the devil."

"You're just jealous 'cuz I've got the cool super powers and you don't."

"I am not!"

Katara stuck her tongue out. "Are, too."

The two siblings were too busy arguing that they did not notice they had drifted into a bunch of ice floes. Sokka saw his chance to be the hero for once and tried to steer them away. Katara unhelpfully yelled "Go left! Go left!"

Sokka whirled around to give her a glare. "Katara, don't be a backseat driver!"

As Sokka blinked, wondering where he had exactly come up with that term, Katara made two ice floes come together and smash the canoe. The two siblings jumped out in the nick of time. (Get it? In the _nick_–never mind.)

"Sheesh, Katara! Think before you act! That was Dad's good canoe! He'll kill us when he finds out!"

"I think that's the least of our problems, Sokka. . ."

The two found themselves stranded in the middle of nowhere on a block of ice.

"This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't been a backseat driver." Sokka, again, wondered where exactly he had come up with that phrase. He made a mental note to use it again. "Leave it to a girl to screw things up."

Katara frowned at the very sexist comment. "You. . .sexist, immature, nut brained, sexist. . ."

As she yelled at her brother, she waved her hands angrily in the air. She began to waterbend and water began to slice up the iceberg that was right behind her.

"Katara."

"Shut up! I'm so sick of how lazy and _sexist_ you are! Have you noticed that I have to do _all _the work in the tribe?"

"I'm training the men of our tribe!"

"You're playing solider with a bunch of _toddlers_!"

Waving her arms a final time, the iceberg behind her cracked in two, as the word "toddlers" echoed across the sea dramatically. The siblings looked behind them.

"You really had to overreact to one little comment." Sokka sighed.

"Just wait 'til episode four."

Out of the gigantic iceberg went some sort of giant ball of ice. Katara grinned, immediately forgetting all her rage, and screamed "It's a giant snow cone!"

"Katara, it is not a snow cone. Get back–"

But Katara just grabbed his club and ran to the snow cone with a look of insane glee on her face. Sokka sighed and followed her, in case something went wrong, because something always did.

Katara licked the snow cone, then stuck her tongue out. "Ew! This has no flavor! Must be one of those low fat ones."

Angry that she had been cheated out of her dessert, she hit the giant low fat snow cone with the club.

"Katara, what are you doing?"

"I'm taking out my anger on the snow cone!"

"That's not exactly helping!"

"Shut up!" Katara continued to hit the snow cone.

Sokka sighed and sat down. He really wished he had his Gran Gran's famous cookies right then. That, or meat. Or meat cookies. Meat cookies were the greatest.

After several hours of hitting the snow cone, a jet of air burst out and hit Katara. She stepped back, yelling "Bad snow cone!"

The snow cone cracked open, and a jet of light burst from the ground, shooting up into the sky.

Meanwhile, several miles away, Prince Zuko happened to be looking in the direction of the light. He grit his teeth.

"Finally," he said, turning to face his uncle "Uncle! Do you know what this means?"

Iroh sighed "I won't get to finish my game?"

"No. . ." Zuko frowned at the dimming light "It means. . .someone's eating a giant snow cone!"

"Or it's just the celestial lights. We've been down this road before, Prince Zuko–"

"Uncle! I am not _blind. _This light came From. The. Ground. You're just trying to keep me from my snow cone!" Zuko crossed his arms and pouted.

"Zuko, who would want a snow cone here? It's the middle of Winter in a place that is literally a block of ice."

"Actually, since it's the southern hemisphere, it's technically Summer." said Zuko

"Don't question my wisdom! You think you're so smart just because it's the 'southern hemisphere'? Well, guess what? _I'm _the one with the tea and proverbs. You're just a teenager with an attitude problem. And a bad hair cut."

"Uncle!" Zuko whined, before self consciously touching the ponytail.

"No, I'm serious. You should get your hair cut. You're never going to get a girlfriend with that hair."

"Between the snow cone and my mission to capture the Avatar, I'm too busy for a girlfriend." Zuko said, waving his uncle off. He turned to the helmsmen, yelling "Set a course for the light!"

Meanwhile, the Water Tribe siblings faced a bald boy with bright, glowing eyes standing up and climbing out of the snow cone.

"What is that?" asked Katara

"I don't know, but that is _definitely _not a snow cone." Sokka raised his spear at the boy, yelling "Stop!"

The light faded from the boy's glowing eyes and he fell to the ground. Sokka blinked. "Wow, I didn't actually think that would work. . ."

Katara rushed forward to catch the strange boy.

Sokka poked him with his spear. Katara gave him a glare "Stop that!"

"What? He's a strange bald kid in a snow cone! If there's one thing I learned, it's to never trust a strange bald kid in a snow cone."

At that moment, said strange bald kid began to wake up. He immediately set his eyes on Katara's blue ones. Mustering all of his strength, he said "I need to ask you something. . ."

"What is it?" asked the amazed and enchanted water tribe girl.

The boy immediately gave her a big, goofy grin "Will you go penguin sledding with me?"

Katara blinked "Uh. . .sure?"

The boy airbent to his feet, rubbing the back of his head, and wondering where he was.

Sokka started to poke the weird boy with his spear. Being the all powerful Avatar that he was, the boy didn't notice Sokka's spear poking him. However, it was starting to annoy him, so he batted it away nonchalantly.

_What was I doing here again? Oh, yeah, I was taking Appa on a joyride. Monk Gyatso's gonna be so ticked. . ._

The boy scrambled up the icy slope, even though he could have just as easily walked around to the convenient entrance that Katara and Sokka used.

With a grin, The boy jumped from the top of the slope and landed on Appa. The bison opened one large, annoyed eye, and roared. _Can't you see I'm trying to sleep? _Of course, despite his profound bending talents, The boy could not speak bison, so he took this to mean _Are we going on another magical adventure today?_

"What is that thing?" asked Sokka, upon seeing the bison.

"That thing? That _thing _is my flying bison, Appa."

"Right. And this is Katara, my flying sister."

Katara had gone too long without speaking, so she scolded her brother for being rude. Appa, who was upset at being called a "thing"-because it was, in fact, a very majestic creature-sneezed on Sokka, who squealed like a little girl.

"Don't worry, it'll wash out." The boy assured him, though he was sure that it wouldn't, but Sokka's puny mortal screaming was offending his Avatar ears.

"What's your name?" asked Katara

"I'm Aa. . .ah. . .ah. . ."

It must have been flu season or something, because right then, he sneezed, flying several feet into the air, before landing in front of the siblings and saying "I'm Aang."

To say Sokka was surprised was an understatement. "You just sneezed. And flew ten feet in the air."

"Really? It felt higher than that."

Katara gasped. "Those strange clothes and tattoos, that bison, the sneeze. . .you're an alien!"

Aang blinked. "Uh. . .no, I'm an airbender."

The two siblings exchanged puzzled glances.

"A what?"

"I'd believe alien over airbender."

Aang would have looked into this matter some more, but his short attention span was giving out, and he said "Whatever."

"Giant light beams, flying bison, aliens. . .I think I've got midnight sun madness." said Sokka "I'm going home to where stuff makes sense. . ." At least getting slapped in the face with a flying fish was normal. . .but when Sokka turned around, he saw there was absolutely nowhere to go. Then he realized: he was stuck on an iceberg with a weird bald kid and his sister who could control magic water and believed in aliens.

_I hate my life._

"Well. . .if you guys are stuck, Appa and I can give you a ride." Aang offered.

Sokka was about to say _Not on your life! _but his sister said "Sure!" and climbed on the strange monster with the strange bald kid.

"I am not getting on that fluffy snot monster."

"Are you hoping some other monster will come along and give you a ride home?"

Sokka, unfortunately, could not argue with that logic. So he got on the fluffy snot monster and prayed his life would end quickly and painlessly.

Aang grinned, cheerfully, and said "First time fliers, hold on tight! Appa, yip yip!"

The bison roared and leaped up into the sky. . .only to come down into the freezing water with a tremendous _splash. _Of course, only Sokka was splashed by the frigid water.

"I thought you said this thing could fly! I want my money back." Sokka sighed.

Katara and Aang tuned out Sokka, who was now just rambling on to himself.

"Is he always this loud?" asked Aang

"You get used to it." Katara shrugged.

Aang stared at Katara with a weird smile on his face. Katara blinked and said "Uh. . .why are you smiling at me like that?"

"Oh. . .I was smiling?"

"Do you think you're being cute? 'Cause actually, that's kinda creepy."

"Sorry. . ." said Aang, and he quickly turned away, immediately finding the floes of ice they slowly overtook to be much more interesting.

Meanwhile, Prince Zuko was busy searching for the Avatar and the snow cone. And by busy, I mean he was staring out across the ocean in an angsty manner.

He did this until it was dark out.

Iroh decided he had enough of Zuko being emo for one day, so he approached him. "I'm going to bed now."

Zuko said nothing.

"Yep, a man needs his rest."

Zuko still didn't take the hint. Then again, he was really bad at that sort of thing.

"I. said." Iroh continued, drawing out each word. "A man. Needs his rest."

"I'm not a man." said Zuko "According to you, I'm a 'teenager with an attitude problem and a bad haircut.'"

"Are you still mad about that?"

"Kinda."

Iroh sighed, and decided it was time for plan B: demoralizing his nephew.

"Even if the Avatar was still alive, you won't find him. You father, grandfather, and great grandfather all tried and _failed _to capture the Avatar. _Faiiiiiled._" He drew out the word.

That still seemed to do nothing. Zuko just continued to stare out in the sky with so much angst, Harry Potter would be proud. He then said, with extreme angst. "Their honor didn't hinge on the Avatar's capture. Mine does."

Iroh sighed, and turned away, because he couldn't take much more angst. Zuko continued to stare out into the sky. With angst.

In fact, the scene was so angsty that the creators were afraid the viewers wouldn't be able to take the angst and they quickly switched the scene to the more merry and happier group of the story.

Sokka was conveniently asleep or something to keep him out of the way, so Katara and Aang could have their conversation in peace.

"Hey," said Katara

"Hey. Watcha thinkin' about?"

"Well. . .I was wondering–"

"If we could go on a date? Yes!" Katara gave him a weird look, and Aang laughed nervously and said "Just kidding."

"I was wondering, you being an alien and all, if you knew what happened to the Avatar."

"What does me being an. . .alien. . .have to do with me being–I mean _knowing_ the Avatar?"

Katara shrugged. "I dunno. . .the Avatar has weird magical spirit magic, so I figured you'd know him."

"Uh. . .no. . .I knew people who knew him, but I didn't."

It was amazing Katara bought that lie, because Aang was an even worse liar than Zuko.

"Okay. Just curious. Goodnight."

"Sleep tight."

The camera then zoomed in on Aang's worried face, making it completely obvious to those who hadn't figured it out already by the title, that Aang was the Avatar.

Suddenly, the scene around them began to fade to black, until it was completely dark. Katara screamed something about the world ending.

But it wasn't that.

It was far worse.

It was. . .a snuggie comercial.

**To be continued. . .**

**A/N: Reviews are appreciated. **


	2. Chapter 2: Episode 101 Part 2

**Chapter One: The Boy In the Giant Snow Cone**

**Part Two**

**A/N: I do not own Avatar; I'm just another crazy fangirl.**

After the cuddleuppet commercial from hell, Aang fell asleep and found himself in his flashback dream.

He had been flying on Appa when a storm started. He lost control of his bison and plunged into the water with a frightened scream.

As he sank into the water, he went into the Avatar state. Once he was all glowy, he airbent a sphere of air around him.

_I'm such a genius. _The Avatar thought to himself, smugly, until the air sphere started to freeze over.

"Aang? Aang, wake up!"

Aang gasped and sat up straight, screaming like a little girl. He then saw Katara and quickly regained his composure.

"Come on, get ready." Katara said, showing no indication that she had noticed Aang's frightened little girl scream "Everyone's so excited to meet a real, live alien."

"Airbender." Aang corrected her, but she wasn't listening. Sighing, Aang grabbed his poncho thing and pulled it over his head. Katara gasped, because it seemed she was just noticing that, despite the fact that he was twelve years old and looked rather cuddly, he had arrow tattoos covering his body.

Aang whirled around and said "Are you looking at my arrows?"

"Why are you covered in tattoos? Is that an alien thing?"

"No, I got these tattoos to be gangsta' and rebellious." he said, rolling his eyes.

Katara's eyes widened and she stepped back, wondering whether she was going to have to break out the pepper spray again.

Aang grinned a bit nervously and said "I'm just _kidding_. I got them because I'm an airbending master–"

But Katara wasn't listening again; she dragged Aang by his wrist outside the tent and led him to the villagers, who were in a small, huddled crowd.

"Aang, this is the entire village. Entire village, Aang."

One of the women pointed to Aang and said "Is he the reason Sokka didn't bring back any meat yesterday?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that, but–" Sokka started

"Yeah, it's because he's bad at hunting." Katara piped in.

"What I meant to say was that it was _entirely _Aang's fault. If it weren't for him, I would have caught this _huge _shark."

Katara gave Sokka her meanest look as the entire village turned to Aang. "I guess we'll have to eat the alien instead." said one, and the others nodded in agreement.

"Wait!" said Katara. She stepped in between Aang and the villagers.

"I bet he's stealing all our food!" yelled a small boy

"No I'm not!" said Aang "All you guys eat is meat, and I'm a vegetarian." Just then, Aang's stomach growled. "Speaking of food, it felt like I haven't eaten in a hundred years. . ."

"A vegetarian?" asked a villager "Good, not enough of them grow here."

Katara knew then that it was time to change the subject. She spotted Aang's glider and said "I bet this magical alien stick will bring us food."

"It's not a 'magical alien stick', it's a glider." said Aang. He used airbending to open the staff, revealing the red wings.

Everyone stepped back, their eyes wide. "He must be using dark magic." one whispered.

"It's not dark magic, it's airbending." said Aang, consolingly.

"You mean 'alien magic.'" said Katara

Aang had really had enough of being mistaken for an alien. "Okay, fine. Have it your way. I'm an alien, and this uses really advanced and complicated alien technology that none of you will understand."

He then tried to fly away on his glider while simultaneously flipping the bird at them. He was so busy taunting the villagers that he didn't notice he was about to fly straight into a watchtower.

"My watchtower!" Sokka yelled, his voice cracking. He had spent several hours perfecting the work of architectural wonder, thank you very much, and he was not pleased in the least that it had toppled over. "Katara! Get him out of here! Before he wrecks my snow fort–"

He was interrupted by a muffled _crash _as Aang crashed into the snow fort.

"You're not very good at this, are you?" asked a little girl.

Sokka sighed, and decided to start fixing his watchtower. "Great, you're an alien and Katara's a waterbender. Together you can just waste time all day long."

"You're a waterbender?" asked Aang

"Yeah," said Katara, grinning "Wanna see?"

"Nah, everyone knows that _air's _the superior element." said Aang, still a bit miffed about the alien thing.

"Oh," Katara's face fell.

"I'm just kidding; I'd love to see you waterbending."

Katara grinned and was about to show him when Gran Gran walked up to them.

"Alright, that's enough fooling around." said Gran Gran "Katara, you still haven't finished your chores."

"But _Gran Gran_." Katara whined.

"Do your chores, slave!" Sokka called from the watchtower. Fuming, Katara waterbent the remains of the watchtower down and buried Sokka. They heard muffled cursing from the pile of snow.

"I told you, Gran Gran, he's the real thing!" Katara said, beaming again. "A real live alien! I bet he can teach me waterbending."

Katara actually wasn't sure whether he'd be an effective teacher, him being an alien and all, but he was about the closest thing to a bender she'd ever met.

"Katara," said Gran Gran "I know you want to learn waterbending–"

"More than anything in the world!"

"–but if you run off doing crazy things like waterbending, well, who's going to do the chores around here?"

"I'm sure you can, Gran Gran. And lessons won't take too long. . ."

"I'm too old! Why do you think I had your mother? I needed to pass on the workload!"

"But Gran Gran!" Katara protested "I sense he is filled with much wisdom."

Meanwhile, Aang was busy getting his tongue stuck to his own staff. Gran Gran tsked and started to walk away, and Katara said "Well, we all have off days. . ."

* * *

Fire Prince Zuko stared down his sparing opponents, in a defensive stance. He narrowed his eyes at them as Iroh said "Again."

Zuko ran through the drill, dodging his enemies attacks and shooting fireballs at them. He was pretty sure he got everything down, but then he slipped on a rubber chicken.

"You get an F." said Iroh.

"For 'fantastic'?"

"No for total and complete failure." Iroh sipped his tea.

"Hey, I think I was doing alright!"

"Hey, who's the master here? I've told you over and over, firebending comes from the breath, not the muscles. You can't be all muscles, you've got to have some skill, too. Haven't you ever heard the saying 'brains over brawn'? That's not just what the nerds say to make themselves feel better."

"Yeah, yeah." Zuko said, waving him off. "You already told me this."

"Well, you don't seem to be listening." Iroh sighed.

Zuko probably should have just let it go, but he decided he wasn't going to let his uncle off the hook yet. "Look, the sages tell us the Avatar is over a hundred years old. He's going to have, like, arthritis or something. I'm pretty sure that I'll be able to overpower him. Besides, you're always saying that you old codgers are wise or something."

Iroh punched Zuko in the shoulder. Zuko whined and stomped his foot like a schoolgirl "Why did you do _that_?"

"Never say us 'old codgers' are weak ever again." he turned to the soldiers. "Drill him again."

Zuko sighed and ran through the drill again, only to trip over that rubber chicken again.

Iroh sighed. This was going to be a long training session.

* * *

Sokka paced back and forth in front of a group of little kids. "Now, men, it's important that you show no fear in front of a firebender–"

Katara approached them, cutting off Sokka's speech. "Sokka, what makes you think firebenders are going to attack us? And why are you entrusting little kids with weapons anyway?"

"Katara, you saw that beam of light! The alien's probably with the Fire Nation, and he tried to signal them."

Katara rolled her eyes. "You're crazy. Do you honestly think that Aang's smart enough to be a spy? I mean, he got his tongue stuck to his staff earlier."

"That's just what he _wants _you to think!"

The kids got up and ran away, sensing the siblings were about to fight.

"Aw, look what you did _now, _Katara!" Sokka complained. "I'm trying to train the warriors."

"Warriors, _right._" Katara glanced over to a bunch of kids sliding down on Appa's tail. Appa roared in protest, because such a majestic creature like him was _not _a children's slide.

Aang was also on the bison, and Sokka ran up to him. "Stop it! We can't afford to goof off with a war going on!"

Aang blinked, then jumped off Appa. "What war?"

Sokka cursed under breath, then said "You know, the war against the Fire Nation? That we've been fighting for _a hundred years_. I mean, you'd have to be living under a rock not to know about it!"

Then Sokka blinked and said "Wait a minute. . ." but before he could finish his thought, Aang spotted a penguin seal.

He screamed "PENGUIN!" at the top of his lungs and began to run after it.

Sokka and Katara turned to each other in bewilderment. Then Sokka said "Ten copper pieces says he has ADD."

**To Be Continued. . .**

**A/N: Please don't forget to review! They really are great motivators. . .**


	3. Chapter 3: Episode 101 Part 3

**Chapter One: The Boy In the Giant Ball of Ice**

**Part Three**

**A/N: I do not own Avatar. Enjoy.**

Katara wandered to the beach, searching for Aang. She found him chasing and terrorizing some penguins.

"Hey, Aang." she called. "Sokka wants to know if you have ADD."

Aang turned to her. "No. . .it just kinda feels like I haven't moved at all in, like, a hundred years!" He laughed.

Katara winced "Uh. . .yeah, about that. . ."

But Aang had turned back to chasing penguins. He jumped after one and landed in the snow. "Oof!"

"You really have a way with animals." said Katara, sarcastically.

"I've been told that a lot. . ." Aang said, with a wry grin.

Katara smiled, kindly. "How about this. I'll teach you to catch a penguin if you teach me how to waterbend."

"Sure," said Aang "But I can't waterbend. . .and I didn't tell you I was the–I mean, and I'm definitely _not _the Avatar."

"I know," Katara sighed "but there's no one in my tribe that can teach me waterbending. I'm the only one. They all think I've sold my soul to the devil or something, so no one's going to help me find a waterbending teacher."

"What about the north pole?" Aang suggested "There are plenty of waterbenders there."

Aang expected her to say something like it was "too far away" but instead Katara's eyes lit up and she beamed. "That's a great idea!"

"It is?" Aang blinked. "Uh. . .don't you have your tribe to look after or whatever?"

"You actually expect me to want to stay? I have to do _everyone's _chores. Do you know how hard it is to wash the clothes of an entire village? And don't get me started on doing the dishes! I'm outta there!"

Aang would have protested, but he was far too excited about the prospect of traveling around the world alone with Katara.

"So it's a deal?" asked Aang

"Yes," said Katara "It's a deal." she then grinned mischievously "I can't wait until they all find out they're on their own. . ." She laughed.

"Your eyes are so pretty." Aang said, dreamily.

"Alright. Ready to learn how to catch a penguin?"

"Sure, but how–"

Before Aang could finish his statement, Katara threw a fish at him. He was about to ask her why he kept a stock of fish up her parka sleeves, but right then he was chased by hoards of hungry penguin seals.

"You're still going to fly me to the north pole, right?" asked Katara.

It didn't seem very much like a fair exchange, but Aang was too busy getting trampled by ravenous penguins to protest.

* * *

After Katara pulled Aang from the penguin seals and grabbed two for them to ride on, they began to ride down the icy hill.

They laughed and yelled as they slid down the hill on their new animal slaves. Giggling, Katara turned to Aang, and said "I haven't done this since I was a kid!"

"You still _are _a kid." said Aang.

It was quite a tender moment they had going on, and when the penguins slid to a stop and bucked them off, Aang decided it was time to make his move.

But then he noticed the gigantic Fire Navy ship in front of him, and because of his short attention span, he forgot about the possible opportunity for romance.

"What is that?"

"It's a Fire Navy ship–" Katara started, but Aang cut her off.

"I knew that!"

"Shut up! I'm trying to give backstory information here!"

"Sorry. . ."

"Ahem, as I was saying, it's a Fire Navy ship, and a very bad memory for my–_where are you going_?"

"It looks like fun." said Aang, approaching the ship "I'm gonna go check it out."

"Don't go in, Aang, there could be booby traps."

"Please I'm the–I mean, I might not be the Avatar, but that doesn't mean I can't handle a few booby traps." Aang started to walk into the ship.

Katara stood outside, indecisive. After nervously fidgeting for a few moments, she ran inside to find Aang standing by the wall and waiting.

"I thought you'd show up. Come on, let's go."

So Aang and Katara explored the Fire Navy ship. But there was really nothing there except for weapons, discarded navy uniforms, and the odd skeleton or two.

"Man, this blows." said Aang. "Let's get out of here."

He walked towards the doorway and was about to step on a tripwire when Katara cried "Wait!"

Aang turned around saying "What is it?"

"Sokka and I were talking about it and we figured you were in that iceberg for a very long time because you didn't know about the war." said Katara "So basically, everyone you know and love are dead, and you're actually over a hundred years old."

"Oh, man. . .a hundred years. . ." Aang moaned, shocked and stunned by this realization. He sank to the floor. "I missed so many birthdays. . ."

"It's okay, Aang." said Katara, kneeling down next to him and patting his back. "We'll get through this."

"I can't believe it."

"Maybe there's a bright side to all of this."

"No, I'm pretty sure this is the worst thing that could possibly happen to me."

Katara blinked. "But. . .aren't you happy you got to meet me?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

Katara sighed. "Let's go home. This place is creepy."

"Yeah," said Aang. He and Katara walked through the door and stepped on a tripwire. The door closed behind them.

"What's that you said about booby traps?" asked Aang

"That you really have a knack for getting yourself in trouble, you know that?"

The ship was decades old and no one had been in it for quite some time, but no one booby trapped a ship like Fire Nation sailors; the gears were a bit creaky and needed oiling, but the flare worked as good as new.

And right at that moment the prince of the Fire Nation happened to see it as he gazed through the telescope with his good eye.

"The last airbender." he muttered "Quite agile for his old age. . .I guess he doesn't have arthritis after all. . .Oh, well, guess we won't have to oil the chains."

Zuko straightened up and turned around to yell to his crew. There was a fake black eye on his good eye from the telescope, which had obviously been bought from a cheap joke shop. "Wake my uncle! Tell him I've found the–what's so _funny_?"

The crew members were snickering at him. Zuko took a quick in the mirror and sighed. "Oh, not _again_." He threw the joke shop telescope into the ocean and yelled "When I catch who's doing that, there'll be hell to pay!"

**To Be Continued. . .**

**A/N: And thus concludes the first episode. Stay tuned: Will Zuko capture the Avatar? Will Sokka ever rebuild his watchtower? Will Aang ever make up for his lost birthdays? To be continued. . .**

**Please review. Feedback, especially cc, is really appreciated.**


	4. Chapter 4: Episode 102 Part 1

**Chapter Two: The Avatar Returns. . .For Cookies**

**Part One**

**A/N: And so begins the second episode of "Life Is Peachy" And just in case anyone thinks anything has changed since the last section and now, I'll let you know that I still do not own Avatar.**

Since it was the second episode of the show, that meant Roku got to do a voiceover.

"Ahem. . ._previously on Avatar. . ._

"Now, I'm just going to copy and paste the past three sections. Okay. . .control c. . ."

Aang walked into the room. "Come on, Roku. They all just read it." And the two Avatars began to argue.

It seemed they would be arguing for a while. Katara sighed. She liked it better when she did the voiceover.

* * *

Aang and Katara trudged back to the southern water tribe village in shame. Partly because of the flare they had set off on the ship and partly because they had just demolished the fourth wall, and they would have to pay for repairs.

"Oh, it's about time you got here!" Sokka snapped. Apparently the whole village was waiting to watch Sokka chew out Aang and Katara, probably because they had nothing better to do. Entertainment was scarce on this frozen chunk of ice. "I guess you decided your little date didn't have enough _flair_, so you decided to set off a _flare_."

Then Sokka chuckled at his little pun. There was no response from either of the two benders; they just glanced at each other and Katara shrugged.

"What? Nothing?" asked Sokka "You guys are hard to please, and I spent the past two hours on that one."

"Yeah, that's nice and all, but we'd better get going now. . ."

Aang and Katara tried to sneak away, but Sokka yelled "Oh, no, I've got a few words to say to you Mr. Alien."

"For the last time, I'm an _air–_"

"Yeah, I don't really care what you guys call yourselves. Point is, you signaled the Fire Nation, 'Aang'. . .if that _is_ your real name."

"Aang didn't mean to!" Katara yelled

"Yeah, we were exploring that forbidden ship and there was this booby trap and–"

"You went on the _forbidden ship_? Why do you think we call it that?" asked Gran Gran

"It was fun. . ." said Aang, then, when noticing all the glares, said "I mean. . .it was totally Katara's fault. All her idea."

"Alright, that's it, you're banished." Sokka pointed to Appa and said "Now get that ridiculously majestic creature and yourself out of here."

"Wait, Aang–" Katara tried to run up to the young air nomad, but Aang knew when he wasn't welcome.

"_Fine_. I was just leaving anyway." Aang strutted over to his bison and leaped onto his head. "Alright," he whispered to Appa "We're going to fly, now, so don't make me look bad in front of Katara."

Appa roared, which meant. _I'll do whatever I want._

All that majesticness could really go to a bison's head.

"Yip yip." Aang yelled. Appa roared and walked away with swagger in his step.

"Fine! Good riddance!" Sokka yelled after him.

"Sokka!" yelled Katara, running up to her brother. "_Now _how am I going to get a waterbending teacher?"

"Go teach yourself!"

Katara sighed. "Come on, Sokka. Since when has banishment solved anything?"

* * *

Meanwhile, in the Fire Nation palace, Firelord Ozai sipped his tea and thought, _Boy, things are definitely more peaceful without Zuko around. _Though he was sitting in a perfectly normal lounge room, his face was obscured by a mysterious dark shadow. Ozai sighed. He would have to get that fixed. _After _this short break.

"Daddy!"

Ozai looked up to see Azula standing in the doorway.

"Can't you see I'm busy?"

"You're just drinking tea."

"I'm very busy planning to rule the world."

"You _promised _you were going to give me a firebending lesson."

"I did not."

"You pinky swore!"

Ozai sighed. He was not in the mood. "Just go. . .kill someone or something."

Azula's eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Yeah, whatever."

"Yay!" Azula grinned like Ty Lee in a plushie store. She skipped away.

* * *

Appa, the majestic flying bison, was frankly glad to be rid of the town with its stinky children that seemed to think it was fun to us him as a playground.

He gave a low, rumbling growl, which was bison–speak for _"We should ditch this frozen wasteland and take a vacation on a tropical island."_

"Yeah. . .I missed her, too." Aang sighed.

Appa growled again, which meant. _"Instead of wallowing in self pity, you should forget about the puny mortals and meet a _real _waterbender."_

"You're right. . ." Aang said

Appa roared, which meant _"I knew you'd come around."_

"I should go back and apologize." Aang grinned. "You give good advice, Appa."

Appa made a low, rumbling noise, which was probably the bison equivalent of a sigh. There were obviously communication problems between them. He'd have to work on that later.

Aang saw something out of the corner of his eye and turned around. He gasped when he saw the Fire Navy ship. Now that he was perfectly aware about the war against the Fire Nation, he figured it was bad news.

He glanced in the direction the ship was headed and said "Oh, no, the village!"

Appa grumbled _"Good riddance."_

"You wait here, buddy. It's Avatar Aang to the rescue!"

Aang glanced around the icy plains, wondering how he could make the most dramatic entrance. He spotted a couple of penguins and smiled. _Perfect. . ._

* * *

Meanwhile, Sokka had put on his war paint, grabbed his weapons, and stood outside on the wall, facing the misty sea.

Everyone else was cowering behind him.

Suddenly, Sokka heard a rumbling sound, and the town began to shake. Everyone cowered in fear. Sokka wished to cower along with them, but no. He was a _man. _

Well, actually he was a teenager who's voice still cracked on occasion, but those were just minor details.

The watchtower behind him crumbled once more. Sokka sighed "Oh, man." He had spent another two hours of his life rebuilding the watchtower, and he'd thought he'd done a good job of it, too.

Then he looked up and saw the ship looming over him. Then he realized he had bigger fish to fry.

Then thinking of that idiom made him hungry.

Meanwhile, Katara sighed and started to lead everyone away to safety. If Sokka was going to be the one protecting their village. . .Well, melted igloos were supposedly all the rage these days anyway. . .

What Katara knew the town needed was a real hero. A hero who she was certain would be in the form of that alien with the blue tattoos. She wondered where Aang was and if he was going to save them.

_He has to be. . ._Katara thought, with hope.

* * *

Aang threw himself at the unsuspecting penguin seal. The penguin waddled just out of reach.

Aang sighed and airbent himself to his feet. He turned to Appa, who was lazily watching him.

"Well. . .you know what they say. Third time's the charm." he scratched his bald head and sighed. "Or maybe in this case, twelfth."

He leaped after the penguin seal. Again, it waddled just out of reach.

Appa roared, which basically meant _"That village is screwed."_

* * *

The Fire Navy ship had plowed right through the wall in front of the village. The front started to open, at it came down with a crash just inches from Sokka.

Sokka was beginning to rethink this whole "I am a _man_" thing.

Every single one of the villagers somehow got out of hiding and were standing a few feet behind Sokka to watch. It was really amazing that the village had survived for this long.

Some Fire Nation soldiers marched out, one of them being Prince Zuko. Sokka knew this was his opportunity to be the hero for once.

Or, it would have been if the firebender hadn't easily knocked him into the snow when he picked up his club and charged, screaming, at him.

Zuko looked around and saw that his ship had ran straight through the wall. He sighed, saying "Sorry. . .damn GPS. . ." before reverting back to his bad attitude. "Where are you hiding him?"

No one answered.

Zuko reached into the crowd and grabbed Gran Gran's parka, dragging her to the front. "He'd be about this age? Master of all four–"

"Don't hurt Gran Gran!" Katara yelled

A little kid piped in, saying "Yeah! She makes the best cookies in the tribe."

Zuko's eyes narrowed, and he said "Really?"

"Yeah,"

"Can I have some?"

"What? Of course you can't!" Katara shrieked. Zuko's eyes narrowed under that stupid helmet.

"If I can't have those cookies, then no one can!" Zuko pushed Gran Gran back into the crowd, and fire erupted from his fists.

"So. . ." Sokka said, standing up and brushing the snow off him "You think you're. . ._hot stuff_, huh?"

The villagers groaned.

Sokka sighed, then grabbed his club and charged at Zuko, who easily knocked the club out of his hand before blasting a fireball at Sokka.

Sokka rolled out of the way before throwing the boomerang at him. Zuko just barely dodged it, and the boomerang went spinning away.

It was at that point Katara decided she couldn't watch any more of this and covered her eyes.

One of the kids wasn't done watching the fight and tossed a spear at Sokka, saying "Show no fear!"

Sokka caught it and charged at Zuko, who snapped it in half, grabbed it from Sokka, and bonked him in the head with it.

It was at that point in Sokka's life that he truly learned the difference between courage and stupidity.

Then, out of the sky, Sokka's trusty boomerang hit Zuko in the head.

Sokka laughed, yelling "Ha! Boomerang always comes back, you stupid–" Zuko straightened up, a snarl on his face, and Sokka gulped. "Katara. . .I think I got the firebender mad."

Zuko picked up the boomerang and said "You're not getting this back until you learn to stop throwing your toys at people."

"It's not a _toy_." Sokka huffed.

Of course, more humiliation was in store for Zuko, because it was then that he was run over by a bald kid riding a penguin.

Everyone cheered, and Aang skidded to a stop, grinning, "I guess thirty fifth time was the charm."

The penguin bucked him off and waddled away. Aang turned to Zuko. "Looking for me?"

"You're the airbender? You're the Avatar?" Zuko asked, incredulous.

"Aang?" asked Katara

Sokka said "No way. . .He's an alien, not an airbender, moron!"

Aang and Zuko got into attacking stances. "I've spent years preparing for this encounter. . .training, meditating. . .you're just a child!"

"Well, you're just a teenager."

"I am a _man_!" Zuko yelled, shooting fire at the young airbender. Aang easily was able to shield himself from the puny mortal fireblasts, but the villagers were not quite so lucky. They backed away from the flames, screaming.

Aang slammed his staff onto the ground, saying "If I go with you, will you promise to leave these people alone?"

Zuko nodded, but said "On one more condition. . .your Gran Gran needs to bake me a plate of cookies. . .and they'd better be the best cookies I've ever tasted."

"Deal."

"But Aang–" Katara protested, but it was too late. Aang was already being led onto the ship by Zuko's soldiers.

Aang gave Katara a reassuring smile as she caught a last glimpse of him and Zuko munched on a cookie.

**To be continued. . .**

**A/N: Don't forget to review. If you do, I'll give you one of Gran Gran's legendary cookies. . . * holds plate of cookies tantalizingly under nose ***


	5. Chapter 5: Episode 102 Part 2

**Chapter Two: The Avatar Returns. . .For Cookies**

**Part Two**

**A/N: This is real life, and the concept of me owning Avatar, much like the existence of unicorns, is unfortunately merely fictional.**

After Zuko's ship left, the villagers were left to tend to the state of their village. Tents were reraised and another fire was built. Everyone was working.

Everyone except for Katara. She had her taste of freedom, and she was never going to do chores again.

"We need to save him!" she said to her brother while pacing back and forth along the ice. "He saved our tribe. I know you don't like him, but I need to learn waterbending. . .Oh, and also he's the Avatar and the world's only hope."

"Yeah, I know." Sokka said "Why do you think I brought this canoe and followed you to the middle of nowhere?"

"Sorry. . ." said Katara "So. . .you don't hate Aang anymore?" Katara was so overwhelmed at the thought that her brother actually cared about other people that she tackled him in a hug.

"Hey! Personal bubble!" Sokka said, pushing her away. "And Aang? I don't care about him! That Zuko stole Gran Gran's cookies. And for that, he will pay."

"Nice to know _you_ haven't changed." said Katara, rolling her eyes, but smiling.

"And where do you two think you're going?"

Katara and Sokka whirled around to see Gran Gran. They tried to look as inconspiratorial as possible.

"Just. . .fishing again." Katara said

"I know you're planning to go after the Avatar."

The two siblings gulped, and prepared to get yelled at or punished, but instead, Gran Gran smiled.

"Aang is the Avatar. He's the world's only chance. You both found him for a reason. Now your destinies are intertwined with his. . .also you must avenge my cookies!"

"Okay, Gran Gran." said Katara "We'll make sure that jerk will be sorry he ever took your cookies."

Gran Gran smiled. "I'm sure he already does."

"Why? Because he'll be guilty?" asked Sokka, though he highly doubted this idea.

Gran Gran just gave a mischievous smirk. "No. I put laxatives in them."

Katara smiled, but looked back down at the canoe and sighed. "But there's no way we're going to catch up to a warship with a canoe."

"Hm. . ." said Sokka. He, too, was beginning to see a flaw in his ingenious plan.

Meanwhile, Appa, who had been watching this exchange out of boredom, walked up to them with a roar.

Katara grinned and yelled "Appa!" before running to Appa.

Sokka sighed. "You just love taking me out of my comfort zone, do you?" Katara ignored him and continued running to the bison.

* * *

Zuko polished off another cookie and picked up Aang's staff, saying. "This staff will make an excellent gift for my father."

Which was true; Ozai had been making it clear for a while now that there was nothing he wanted more for his birthday than a real airbender's staff.

Zuko continued speaking with "I suppose you wouldn't know of fathers, being raised by monks."

Iroh cast him a look from behind. "It's not like _you_ know much about fathers either, Zuko."

Zuko thrust the staff at his uncle, saying "Make yourself useful for once and take this to my room!" before stalking off to sulk.

Iroh would have done it, but he then realized that it was time for his nap. He handed the staff to a random soldier and said "Take this to his quarters for me, will you?"

The soldier obliged as Aang was taken below deck by a few other soldiers.

"So. . ." said Aang "I bet you guys have never fought an airbender before. I bet I can take you both with my hands tied behind my back."

"Shut up. I'm _not_ paid to babysit you." said the guard.

"Look, I'd be fine hanging out in your brig, but I've kind of got a world to save."

"It'll be fine, kid." said the other guard. "The brig's just like a five star hotel room. . .except it's smaller. . .and there's not much décor. . .but you'll get used to the draft, the hay bed and the rats after a few days."

"RATS!?" Aang screamed. He used airbending to push the guard in front of him into the door. His breath propelled him back into the other guard and knocked him backwards before jumping up to run back up the stairs.

Aang didn't like rats.

The guard who had been knocked into the door groaned. "I don't get paid enough for this. . ."

Aang ran into the ship as one of the guards emerged and said "The Avatar's escaped!"

* * *

Just because Appa had come to save the day didn't mean he was going to be any help to the two siblings. Sokka sighed drearily as the bison swam as slowly as it could through the water. He wondered how long it would take for him to freeze to death if he jumped into the water.

"Go. Fly. Soar."

While Sokka continued to say different adjectives for flying, Katara decided to instill some hope upon the majestic creature.

"Sokka doesn't believe you can do it, but I do. Come on, don't you want to save Aang?"

"He can't fly, Katara. Majestic as he is, he's just not very aerodynamic. I mean, he doesn't even have wings."

Appa growled at this. He normally didn't do anything anyone other than Aang told him to do, but he wanted to prove the water tribesman wrong.

With pure majesticness, force of will, and a little bit of fairy dust, Appa began to fly.

Sokka was ecstatic. "Katara! He's flying! _He's flying!_"

Katara just smiled.

"I mean, big deal, he's flying."

Meanwhile in the Fire Nation, Mai wondered if, just a moment before, someone had been stealing her schtick.

**To be continued. . .**

**A/N: I guess my cookie bribe didn't work. Oh, well, more cookies for me.**

**Sorry this chapter was kind of short, the next chapter will be longer, though. **


	6. Chapter 6: Episode 102 Part 3

**Chapter Two: The Avatar Returns. . .For Cookies**

**Part Three**

**A/N: Sorry, I didn't expect to take so long with posting this chapter. I've been busy and I haven't had the opportunity to log on to fanfiction. **

**Well, enough with the excuses. Without further ado:**

Aang turned a corner and ran further into the ship. He was met with three Fire Nation soldiers.

They seemed friendly, so he decided to ask for their help. "You haven't seen my staff around, have you?"

The guards started to attack him, so he ran around them, escaping them and inventing parkour at the same moment. Ever polite, he turned around to say "Thanks anyway."

Then he mumbled "jerks" under his breath before he ran away, straight into another guard. The guard shot a fireball at him. Aang sighed and jumped over the puny mortal guard, snapping the rope that bound his wrists on the horn on his helmet, knocking the guard over.

Aang ran around the ship, opening doors and looking inside for his staff. Most of the rooms were empty, but one had a rubber chicken inside and another had the sleeping general inside.

"Sorry. . ." Aang whispered, then he continued to run.

He passed another room, but then put on the brakes when he saw his staff was inside.

Aang ran in to retrieve it, but the door closed behind him. Aang whirled around to see Zuko, munching on a cookie.

"You're not planning on taking that, are you?" asked Zuko "Because I kind of needed it. I need a birthday present for my dad."

Aang grabbed his staff and ran to the door. Zuko stuffed the rest of the cookie in his mouth and shot a fireball at him. Aang sighed and with a flick of his staff, he threw the puny mortal into the ceiling with his own mattress.

When Zuko looked up, the Avatar was gone. That was when Zuko realized he had just gotten owned by a little kid and a mattress.

It was not one of his better days.

Aang jumped up to the bridge. The captain stared at him as he ran to the balcony, but he sighed and turned to his steering wheel thing.

Aang opened the wings on the glider and jumped on to fly. Zuko, who had followed him to the bridge, saw him and was jealous of the Avatar's flying skills.

He said "I wanna fly, too!" and jumped off the balcony and grabbed Aang's foot. Of course, the fire prince was not very aerodynamic, and he sent the two of them spiraling down to the deck.

They stood up and prepared to fight, but right then, Appa decided to make an appearance. Zuko looked up in awe, saying "What is that ridiculously majestic creature?"

Aang realized this was the perfect opportunity to escape and he started to run away. Zuko saw him and said "Oh, no you don't!"

He shot a fireball at Aang, who spun his glider to make an air shield. Zuko shot another fireball at Aang, and Aang stepped back, still making the air shield. He grit his teeth as he realized he was getting closer and closer to the edge of the ship. . .

Suddenly, Aang heard a _thud_ and saw that Zuko had slipped on a rubber chicken, and was now flat on his back.

Aang started to run away, but Zuko yelled "Time out!" and he stopped.

"What are you doing?" called Katara from Appa.

"He called a time out! It's rule number six in the official Avatar rule book."

Aang held up a bunch of papers stapled together with a drawing of Avatar Roku in crayon on the cover. The cover also had the words "Official Avatar Rool Book by Avatar Roku" on it.

Zuko stood up and said "Okay, time in." and he started the throw more fireballs at Aang, who stepped back, being overwhelmed by the fire blasts.

Aang was teetering on the edge. As he tried to regain his balance, Zuko shot another fireball at him, and he was knocked into the ocean. Katara yelled "Aang!" from Appa.

One of the guards looked around the corner, and said "Weren't you supposed to _capture_ him, not kill him?"

"Shut up! This all went according to plan!"

Meanwhile Aang was sinking lower and lower into the ocean. Katara yelled "Aang! Aang! You've still go to take me to the north pole!"

Aang's eyes started to glow as he entered the Avatar state, and he burst out of the water, bending water around him, yelling "Stop nagging me, woman!"

He water whipped all the soldiers into the water.

"Did you see what he just did?" asked Katara, partly amazed, and partly annoyed because Aang had told her he couldn't waterbend.

"Now _that_ was some waterbending." said Sokka, and that feat of waterbending was indeed far greater than anything Katara could do.

Aang groaned and collapsed onto the deck. Appa landed beside him, and Katara and Sokka hurried off the bison.

"Is he okay?" asked Katara

Sokka checked the rule book, and said "It says the Avatar needs to recharge after going into the Avatar state."

Aang woke up, and said "Hey, what'd I miss?" he then realized his staff was no longer there. He turned to Sokka. "From now on, you're Katara's and my slave. Go get my staff."

Sokka grumbled angrily as he walked over to get the staff. He picked it up just as Zuko grabbed onto the other end, saying "That staff is mine!"

Sokka hit Zuko in the head and he fell off, grabbing the anchor before he could fall into the water. Sokka raised his staff over his head, triumphantly, saying "That's from the Water Tribe!"

That was when three more soldiers approached Katara and Aang. Quickly, Katara tried to bend water at them, but she accidentally bent the water behind her, freezing her brother's feet to the deck.

The soldier continued to advance, and Katara turned around, freezing the water behind her. The soldiers were now frozen, just inches from her.

Katara scrambled onto Appa with Aang. She saw her brother was stuck to the deck, but instead of helping him, she yelled "Hurry up, Sokka!"

Sokka freed himself by hitting the ice around him with his club. He ran up to Appa, screaming "Yip yip! Yip yip!"

Of course, this was before he got on Appa, so the bison flew away without him.

Iroh stepped out onto the deck, obviously not pleased. "You kids need to quiet down. I can't get any sleep with all your shouting."

Iroh helped Zuko up, and Zuko yelled "Shoot them down!"

"Are you sure that's a good idea? You could fry the Ava–"

"I said shoot them down!" Zuko yelled

They shot a fireball at the bison, but Aang easily deflected it, hitting the glacier next to the ship, sending it tumbling down to the ship.

Katara and Aang flew away on Appa as Sokka ran after them and screamed "Wait! Take me with you!"

Zuko looked around himself and sighed. Now he had to face the truth: he had been thoroughly owned by a twelve year old.

Meanwhile, Aang and Katara were flying away on Appa. "Why didn't you tell use you were an airbender."

Aang opened his mouth to explain, but he just gave an exasperated sigh and said "I _tried_."

"Oh," said Katara "So. . .what now? We go to the north pole?"

"I was thinking that we could go on a bunch of crazy detours first."

Katara shrugged. "Fine by me. . ." then she blinked "Do you have the feeling we're missing someone?"

They looked around, to the corner where Sokka had been sitting before. They concentrated, and then Aang's eyes widened as he said "Oh, no!"

"What?" asked Katara

"I forgot my staff!"

Meanwhile, Sokka had escaped the Fire Nation ship, and found himself in the middle of nowhere. "Guys, this isn't _funny_!"

Zuko was sulking in the corner, because no one was digging out his ship. They seemed to think those frozen soldiers were more important.

"What am I gonna get for Dad's birthday _now_?"

**To be continued. . .**

**Will Aang and Katara remember to pick up Sokka? Will Zuko ever find a birthday present for his father? Will Iroh ever get a good night's sleep? Stay tuned for the next chapter of "Life is Peachy" (and hopefully it won't take so long this time. . .)**


	7. Chapter 7: Episode 103 Part 1

**Chapter Three: It's Not A Good Idea To Keep Secrets From a Powerful Avatar**

**Part One**

**A/N: And so we begin the third episode. I don't own Avatar.**

_Previously on Avatar. . ._

Aang, Sokka, and Katara rode on Appa. Sokka was scowling and crossing his arms.

"Come on, Sokka. We _said_ we were sorry." Katara said, trying to console her brother.

"Sorry doesn't cut it." said Sokka

"It's not our fault. You shouldn't have told Appa to 'yip yip' before you were ready." said Aang

"I'm sorry I panicked." Sokka said, rolling his eyes. "I was just trying to keep you guys safe from the firebenders that were trying to _capture you_. And you never said 'thank you' for giving you your staff back."

"Yeah, because you did a poor job of it. I had to chase that snow pig for an hour to get it back."

"Maybe if someone hadn't left me behind, I wouldn't have run into a pack of snow pigs in the first place."

Appa roared. Aang said "Leave Appa out of this!"

"Maybe if you hadn't been so loud and clumsy, you wouldn't have caused that stampede." Katara said

"Well, that incident was very scarring. I will swear a vendetta against that snow pig and its entire race!"

"How?" asked Katara

"Guess who's having snow pork for dinner."

* * *

It had taken a while for them to get their camp set up. Katara and Sokka had never actually seen any landscape other than one covered in snow, and they were pretty impressed.

"Ooh. . ." said Katara "This must be a tree."

Aang looked over to her and said "You're stepping in poison ivy."

Then after cooking some snow pig, they remembered that Aang was a vegetarian. Sokka tried to pick him some berries, and was about to try one when Aang realized they were poisonous. Fortunately, Aang managed to save him from eating them. Unfortunately, he knocked Sokka over with an air blast to do that.

The three fell asleep late that night because Sokka and Katara had stayed up bickering, so it was no surprise that Sokka wanted to sleep in. Aang, of course, had other plans.

"Wake up, Sokka!" he said "Air temple, here we come!"

Sokka pretended to be asleep, so Aang rummaged through his bag and found a marker. He started to draw on Sokka's face. Katara watched for a moment, then she laughed and joined in.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the fire naval yard, Zuko was glaring at the other ships in the dock, which were far bigger than his, and a lot less broken.

Zuko sighed. "I can't believe we have to go through this again."

"I told you playing chicken with gigantic rocks was a bad idea." said Iroh, who stood next to him.

"It was an iceberg this time. . ." Zuko said, before frowning. "Let's just get this over with. I don't want to risk losing his trail."

"You mean the Avatar?"

"Uncle, shut up!" Zuko said, shiftily looking around. "Could you say that any louder?"

"YOU MEAN THE–?"

"That wasn't what I meant." Zuko said, giving his uncle a glare. "Now, shut up. I don't want anyone getting in the way."

"Getting in the way of what, Prince Zuko?"

Zuko and Iroh turned to see Zhao approaching them. Zuko snarled "Captain Zhao."

"It's _commander _now. You know what that means?"

"No."

"It means I'm one step higher than captain." Zhao sneered and looked up at their ship. "Wow. . .you've _really _screwed it up this time. Playing chicken with boulders again, Zuko?"

"No!" Zuko snapped, defensively. He then knew he needed to come up with the most clever lie he could. He turned to his uncle. "Uncle, tell Commander Zhao what happened."

"Uh. . ." Iroh looked around, as if something would give him an idea. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a rope. "A rope did it." he said

"What he _means_ is that we. . .uh. . .crashed?"

"Into what?" asked Zhao

Zuko said "An Earth Kingdom ship." as Iroh said "An iceberg."

Zhao puzzled over this story for a moment, then thought. _They _might _be lying. . . _He smirked and said "Join me for a drink?"

"Sorry, but we have to go." Zuko said, turning away.

"But we have cookies."

Zuko thought for a moment. Then he said "What _kind _of cookies?"

"Uh. . .chocolate chip."

"Okay." said Zuko, and he followed him.

* * *

Sokka was hungry. Famished. _Starved._

He hadn't eaten in an entire hour.

Sokka's stomach grumbled. Sokka sighed. "Hey, stomach, be quiet alright? I'm trying to find us some food."

Aang glanced over to Katara and said "Does he do that a lot?"

Katara shrugged. "You get used to it."

Meanwhile, Sokka had found the bag of blubbered seal jerky. He eagerly shook it out to land in his hand, but only a few crumbs came out. "Hey! Who ate all my blubbered seal jerky."

"I don't see your name on it." said Katara.

"Oh, that was food? I used it to start the campfire last night."

"But Aang, I specifically told you not to touch the seal jerky."

"Not listening. . ."

Sokka sighed and licked the crumbs off his gloves, hoping it would satiate his gnawing hunger. That was when they reached the mountains and Aang announced they were almost there. Katara turned to him.

"Aang. . .before we get to the air temple. . .there's something I want to tell you about the airbenders."

"Katara, I know. Everyone's always told me they're stinky or something. We bathe, by the way. Which is more than I can say for your culture."

"It's not our fault. The water's too cold. . ." said Sokka. Katara sighed.

"We were trying to tell you that they were _extinct_. As in they're all dead. See, when Sozin's comet came–"

Aang laughed. "Silly Katara. You're talking about the _dinosaurs_."

Katara sighed and said "Never mind. . ."

"Let's hurry. I really need to get to cleaning my room. . ."

* * *

Zhao stood in front of the map of the world, saying "And by year's end, the Earth Kingdom capital will be under our rule. The firelord will finally claim victory in this war."

"How do you know that?" asked Zuko

Zhao smirked. "I read ahead in the script. I also read that you're supposed to show some unusual insight by calling your father a fool."

Meanwhile, Iroh was thinking _Damn! They're breaking the fourth wall! I must distract them before this gets too far out of hand. . ._

The other two were cut off when Iroh shoved a rack of spears over with a clang. They looked at him, and he said "My fault, entirely." and backed away with a triumphant smile.

"So. . .how's your search for the Avatar going?" asked Zhao.

"I'm not telling you anything." said Zuko

"The Avatar's the only thing that can stop us from winning the war. If you have an ounce of loyalty left–"

"You promised me cookies."

Silence filled the room. Zhao sighed and said "If I get you your cookies, will you tell me?"

"Alright."

Zhao had one of the guard hand Zuko a plate of cookies. Zuko then said "I haven't found anything. Come on, Uncle, we're going." Zuko grabbed as many cookies as he could and headed out of the room.

Suddenly two guards blocked his path with their spears. Another guard walked in, saying "Commander Zhao, we interrogated the crew as you instructed. They said they had the Avatar, but Zuko was such a wuss that he let him escape."

Zhao smirked and walked over to Zuko. "Did you really think you could get away that easily? It's too early in the episode for you to resolve your problems. Now tell me, how was your ship damaged."

Zhao then smiled. Now _he _would give Ozai the better birthday present. For the fifth year in a row.

Zuko looked down, then took a bite of his cookie. His eyes widened and he spat it out, yelling "You lied to me! This is oatmeal raisin!"

* * *

Aang showed Sokka and Katara around the air temple. Katara took in the sights of the temple, but Sokka was too busy thinking about his empty belly.

"Sokka, you're one of the first outsiders to _ever _see an air temple. . .well. . .except for the Fire Nation. . ."

"Katara, he burned my seal jerky on purpose. I am _not_ letting him get away with it."

Aang continued, oblivious to the conversation. "And this is where we would play air ball. And this is where the bison would sleep. . ." he sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"This place used to be full of monks and lemurs. Now. . ."

"Now everyone's dead?" Sokka finished for him.

"No, I meant that everyone must have gone on vacation without me! I can't believe this! It's just like last time. . ."

Sokka sighed, and decided to cheer Aang up. "So this air ball game. . .how do you play?"

Five minutes later, Sokka found himself being thrown through the hoop, hitting the ground. Aang laughed and said "Aang: seven, Sokka: _zero_."

Aang turned to Katara "Did you see that?"

But Katara had her back turned the entire time. His efforts to impress her was for nothing.

Katara walked over to Sokka, who was picking himself up from the ground. He spotted a fire nation helmet and said "Katara, look."

The two siblings looked at it.

"Firebenders really were here." said Sokka "We need to think of a way to gently break the news to Aang. You do it, I'm not that good at this kind of thing. . ."

Katara called to Aang "Aang, come over here."

Aang ran over to them, tossing the airball, a wide grin on his face.

Katara sighed and waterbent the snow down on Sokka's head. "I just wanted you to see me humiliate Sokka."

"Cool," said Aang "but enough of that. We've got a whole temple to see!"

Sokka stood up. "Katara, your putting things off is only going to make it worse."

"I know. . ." Katara sighed "but I just think–"

"Katara, you can't protect him forever. This _always _happens. They always find out. In literally every show, movie, and book."

Katara looked after Aang, then said "Don't worry, Sokka. This time will be different." and she walked to Aang.

Sokka sighed They always say that, too. . ." and hurried to catch up with her.

**To be continued. . .**


	8. Chapter 8: Episode 103 Part 2

**Chapter Three: It's Not a Good Idea To Keep Secrets From a Powerful Avatar**

**Part Two**

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to write this. Homework and fanfiction don't mix.**

Katara and Sokka followed Aang into the Air Temple.

"Katara, firebenders were here. If we don't break the news to him, he'll trip over one of those skull helmets that are lying around. Do you think he'd rather get the news broken to him by _you _or a stubbed toe?"

"Don't worry, Sokka. I told you, I've got everything under control."

They caught up with Aang, who was talking to a statue. He saw them and smiled. "Hi, guys. I'd like you to meet somebody."

"Were you supposed to take a pill or something?" asked Sokka while Katara shot him a look.

Aang laughed. "It's Monk Gyatso. He taught me everything I know. Hi, Gyatso."

The statue said nothing.

"He's just being shy."

Sokka and Katara were looking at him weird, so Aang laughed nervously and decided it was time to change the subject with a flashback.

It was a bright morning in the air temple. Gyatso pulled a cake from the oven and said ". . .but the true secret is in the gooey center."

He used airbending to make the colorful filling into a neat pile.

Aang sighed, uncharacteristically depressed.

"My ancient cake baking technique isn't the only thing on your mind, is it Aang?"

"It's this whole Avatar thing." Aang sighed. "Mabe the monks made a mistake."

"The only mistake they made were being jerks about it."

Aang sighed "Gyatso, I'm not ready to save the world. Even though I'm not sure why it needs yet. . ."

"Your questions will be answered when your old enough to enter the air temple sanctuary. Which won't be for a while." Gyatso then shrugged. "Strange how the monks wanted to tell you so early even though you can't go into the sanctuary yet. Oh, well, are you going to help me with these cakes or not?"

The two stepped back, forming balls of air in their hands. They airbent the cakes into the air and they landed straight on four meditating monks. Gyatso and Aang laughed.

"Huh, so that's where you got your jokey personality from." Katara muttered after Aang finished the story.

Sokka snickered. "Wow, the airbenders only used their bending to make cakes? No wonder the Fire Nation –"

"Sokka!"

"Right, sorry, I forgot, we're pretending the entire race of airbenders _isn't _extinct."

Aang started to walk away. Katara called after him "Where are you going?"

"The air temple sanctuary. There's someone I'm ready to meet."

Katara and Sokka exchanged looks before catching up with the young airbender. "Aang, no one in there could have survived for a hundred years."

"Yeah," said Sokka "Especially with the Fire–Ow!" Sokka rubbed his stomach where Katara had hit him.

"It's not impossible." said Aang "I survived in that iceberg for a hundred years."

"Good point." said Katara

"What, so this other guy was in a magically formed iceberg, too?" Sokka scoffed "Despite the fact that the Fi–OW!"

Aang, still oblivious to the fact that firebenders had indeed been in the air temple, said "Whoever's in there could help me figure out this whole Avatar thing."

"And whoever's in there might have a medley of delicious, cured meats!" said Sokka, rubbing his hands together and not realizing that he was about to earn himself the title of the "meat guy" for the rest of the series.

Sokka then hurried to the door, slamming against it with a _thunk_, simultaneously securing his spot as the comic relief character. He pushed against it, trying to open it, but to no avail. He turned to Aang and said "I don't suppose you have a key."

"The key, Sokka, is airbending." said Aang.

Aang stood in front of the door. Sokka slunk away, hoping he wouldn't humiliate himself any more after this episode. Aang airbent into the door. The air passed through the tubes, flipping over the air symbols, unlocking the door. Slowly, the door began to open.

Aang started to walk inside, calling "Hello, anybody home?" Sokka and Katara hesitantly followed him into the dark room.

* * *

Zhao laughed at the young fire prince seated in front of him. Zuko scowled. "Quit laughing."

"No, this is too good. You're telling me that a twelve year old bested you and your men. I didn't think you'd be _this _much of a failure."

"Stop laughing. It's not that funny." Zuko scowled at him. "I underestimated him once, but it will not happen again."

"No, it won't." Zhao said, glaring at the young firebender. "Because you're not going to have a second chance."

"Zhao, I've been hunting the Avatar for nearly three years. Do you know how long I've been waiting for this chance?"

"So I'm taking from you what you worked hard to get just when it gets easier? Get used to it, Prince Zuko, this isn't going to change anytime soon."

"Just you wait, Zhao." Zuko muttered to himself "I'll do this same to you. In about ten episodes."

"What was that?"

"Nothing." Zuko scowled at Zhao.

Zhao turned around. "Capturing the Avatar is too important to leave in a teenager's hands. He's mine now."

Zuko jumped up to attack him, but the two guards behind him pulled him back. Needing to find a way to take out his anger, he kicked over the table.

Zhao just rolled his eyes "Aw, is the baby having a temper tantrum?" and General Iroh looked up, saying "More tea, please." securing his role as the tea loving old guy.

* * *

Aang, Sokka, and Katara walked into the air temple sanctuary, where they were surrounded by statues. The hungry Sokka was unimpressed.

"Statues? That's it? Where's the _meat_?"

Katara rolled her eyes. "Sokka, the airbenders were _vegetarians_. Did you honestly expect them to have _meat_ here? Especially when you've been going on about how they're all. . ." she looked over to Aang and whispered "dead?"

Sokka looked over to Aang. "Vegetarians? What a sad existence."

Katara sighed and looked over to the statues. "Who are these people?"

"I don't know, but I feel I know them somehow."

Sokka then backed away, sensing that freaky Avatar stuff was about to happen.

"That one's an airbender."

"And that one's a waterbender." Katara looked through the statues. "They're lined up in a pattern. Air, water, earth, and fire."

"That's the Avatar cycle." said Aang

"They're Avatars!" said Katara "They must be your past lives."

"Wow. . ." said Aang, looking up at all the statues "There are so many of them."

Sokka scoffed, ruining the moment. "You don't honestly believe in _past lives_, Katara."

"It's true, though. When the Avatar dies, he's reincarnated into the next nation in the cycle. Honestly, Sokka, how can you _not _believe this? You saw Aang go into his Avatar state thing."

"Don't listen to Sokka." Aang said "He's the normal guy."

"Well, _sorry_ I don't have magic powers like everyone else."

Aang stopped in front of another statue. A light passed over its eyes and Aang stared at it, in a trance. Katara shook his shoulders, saying "Aang, snap out of it."

"Huh?" Aang looked around.

After Aang somehow knew the name of the person even though there was no writing, Sokka decided he had enough of this freaky Avatar magic and started wondering where the food was.

The trio saw a shadow at the doorway and immediately ducked behind some of the Avatar statues.

Sokka whispered "Firebender! Nobody make a sound."

"What makes you think a firebender's _here_ of all places?" Katara whispered. The two boys shushed her, not wanting to admit she was right.

The shadow advanced. Sokka hoped his stomach wouldn't growl and give them away. He then thought _It'd be really anticlimatic if all this tension built up and it was just something like a lemur, especially if this chapter ended right now – _

**To be continued. . .**


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